Featured

Just a Little Something

One of the most
rewarding and important
moments in life is
the moment you 
finally find
the courage to let go
of what you
can’t change
-Marcandangel

I read this quote today and it really hit me deep because I feel like it relates to me on a personal lever and also think that it relates to most people as well. Lately for me I have been finding it really difficult to move on from my own mind and the people who swarm my mins. and I think that once I learn to let go of those thoughts it’ll make me feel absolutely lovely;)

XoXo, AL

Featured

Starting New

Hello!

This is the first official post I will be doing and I just want to give an overview of what this blog is about. I want to share about my life, and what I experience so that if someone is experiencing the same thing then they can relate and voice their opinion and give feed back. I mainly want to focus on lifestyle, school, activities, travel…boys ;). But I also just want to be open and talk about issues that I feel are hard to talk to with other people because of the judgement that they may give.

So… Hopefully this will just be an outlet for anyone who wants to come and read and share, everyone is definitely welcome!

XoXo, AL

Did I make a mistake?

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m in a handball class at my collage and I’ve been hardcore crushing on this guy, nick.

Well after Mondays class I had the nerve to go and follow him on instagram. Now originally I had planned on following him Wednesday night because spring break is next week and I would have just forgotten about it.

Well I couldn’t wait and followed him on Monday, well he never followed me back. Well fast forward to Wednesday, the next time I see him, and he still hasn’t followed me back and it was kind of awkward during class.

I want to say he kept looking at me, whenever I would glance over at him I’m pretty sure he was looking at me, But who knows I could’ve just been imagining it.

I don’t know if I should’ve just not followed him or should’ve waited, but either way he still hasn’t even let me follow him because he’s private. Should I just move on? I don’t know.

XoXo, AL

Moving on and letting go?

I feel like the hardest thing in life is probably moving on from people. People leave the biggest impact on our lives, whether they be family or friends or even just strangers on the street, either way every single person you meet in your life time they leave some sort of impact on you.

The first semester of collage starts and everything is going great! Great roommate, meeting great friends, started intramural soccer. Everything is fantastic. I even meet a boy. He also joined the same soccer team as me. We talked every once in a while, but he gets the nerve to snap me, so then we start to talk. Now I do not believe that you should meet with someone in their room because all they want is sex and I want someone to like me for me not for sex. We go out and get food and study at the library and then we do eventually hang out in his room because his roommate was never there. We would kiss and cuddle but I would never let it get to the point where he would be getting in my pants. I even told him straight up that I wasn’t ready and he respected my decision just as I feel every guy should, even though it doesn’t always work out that way. Well come mid-semester and he tells me that he’s not enjoying his time at the collage and that he was planning on transferring back to his old collage. I respect his decision because who am I to hold him back. Well the rest of the semester he says that it’ll work and that well see each other and talk to each other and that nothing will change. He’s moving three hours away from me, which is quit far, but I didn’t care I liked him so much. well he doesn’t have a car with him because his is unreliable and he doesn’t want to pay for it, so that means that I would be the one to drive every time to see him. It still didn’t bother me though.

Come to second semester after break and he just starts to stop talking to me, then he breaks up with me, says “Whats best for us is to just move on with different people.” First off I hate it when people speak for me because he doesn’t know whats best for me. I know whats best for me and I wasn’t ready to give up on what we had so easily. We went two weeks without talking, when out of nowhere he snaps me saying “you should come up and see me this weekend.” Now as a girl I know all he wants is sex because he’s bored. I say no and ask him why he broke up with me if he still wants to be with me? he says that it was a mistake and he missed me. Well my mind didn’t change about what he did. I’ve still been talking to him, but for me it just makes me miss him all over again. He asked again last night if I wanted to come up in two weeks and I said I’d think about it.

Now I really need advise here. Do I go up and see him and see if he really is worth it, or do I just move on from what we had. Maybe a part of me just doesn’t want to give up on him, but maybe thats the best thing. Maybe it’s best if I just tell him that I want to move on, even though a part of me doesn’t want to do that at all. But the other part of me just want to be in his arms at night having him kiss me and making me feel something I haven’t felt since he left.

XoXo, AL

What the Heart Wants

Theres always that one person you want to love and care for so badly that it hurts you so much, But in the end you absolutely can’t have them because they have a girlfriend.

So, i’m in this Human Performance class, for my gen Eds not by choice, and the class i’m in is handball. Anyway the first day of class comes around and this guy walks into the room and immediately wonderstruck by him. He’s tall with gorgeous brown hair and brown eyes, the way he speaks its like you just know that he’s someone you want to have and to get to know because he’s this amazing guy. Well after class is over I go back to my dorm and I look him up, creepy? I know. But its like he left something on me that I couldn’t shake. And lets be real here, we’ve all done that. Well on our class page we have everyone’s name so I started going down the list looking up everyone on facebook, And then I finally found him. And lets just say I was sadly disappointed when I found out that he has a girlfriend. Its like everything in me just came caving in and I felt so lost. So the best I could do I was just try to move on. The next few weeks of class go by and I just try to move past it, But then maybe like last week it was, we got paired together to play, which wouldn’t have been a big deal if I was pair with anybody else, but it just had to have been him. Okay so first things first, I absolutely SUCK and handball! So he keep laughing at me and then I would start laughing and maybe I was flirting with him a little, which I know I shouldn’t be, but I just can’t help it. After the class was over I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I tried listening to music, reading a book, doing homework, anything… but nothing worked! his face just kept showing up in my head. So that evening I texted my cousin because he’s only a year older then her and they went to the same high school and I just ask her if she knew him and she said “yeah I know of him, but not personally.” So then I ask if she knew or knows his girlfriend and then she said that again she knows of her but not personally, and that she is a junior in high school. Now I now that two years isn’t that much of a difference, but like will it really work out? so again I just try to let it go and it works, up until this week when we got paired again together, and lets just say I still suck at handball. He probably wants a different partner by now. But again when I leave I just think about him for the rest of the day. Now i’m not the kind of person that would ever take a guy from someone else because I wouldn’t want that for me, but I do hope that they break up soon. I just need some tips. If anyone has gone through this same thing please share what got you through it because so far I keep hitting a dead end.

XoXo,

AL